Frank Isaac was my roommate for a couple of months in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania.
Here are some of the questions I asked him:
- How is Tanzania's government fighting corruption? Is it working?
- It seems that African men are rarely at home. Is that largely the case or is that a myth?
- How are Ugandans different than Tanzanians (Frank lived in Uganda for a decade)?
- Do Tanzanians date between tribes?
- How popular is polygamy?
- Is witchcraft a big deal?
- How faithful are Africans to each other?
- Do African men spend much time with their children?
- Do men often abandon their kids?
- What's the future of Tanzania?
How Frank disappointed me
Here's a sad, true, and disappointing story about Frank Isaac. After this podcast, we got along great for a couple of months. There was never any sign of negativity or conflict.
Days before Rejoice and I were going to leave Tanzania, Frank's smartphone was stolen. To help him out, I offered my backup smartphone. I told him that he could either buy it for $300 (a good price) or, if he didn't like it after a couple of days, he could return it for free.
On the morning we were leaving for Zanzibar, he hadn't given a clear answer. I should have woken him up as I was leaving, but I trusted him and we were going to be in Zanzibar for a week (which is 1 hour from Dar es Salaam by boat).
After we left, Frank cut off all communications. He ignored all my calls and messages. I told him in so doing he's effectively stealing my phone. He may not consider himself a thief, but that's what his actions are indicating.
I had two of my Tanzanian friends pressure him to either send me the money or return my phone.
Finally, he coughed up the phone when my friend went to his apartment.
Frank never explained to my friend (or me) why he was trying to steal my phone. I didn't owe him rent or anything. I couldn't understand his behavior. It's like getting dumped by a lover with no explanation when you thought everything was going well.
The only explanation I could come up with is that he might have been upset that Rejoice (my wife) told Frank's girlfriend that another woman slept with Frank one night. Female solidarity compelled Rejoice to spill the secret.
If that was the reason he felt justified in stealing my phone, Frank never expressed it, perhaps because he knows that he shouldn't punish me for Rejoice's actions.
He was never man enough to tell me what was going on.
I share this story because it's so typical of Tanzanians: they are non-confrontation people.
In fact, most Africans avoid direct conflict and arguments.
Nigerians are the exception. Tanzanians are closer to the African tendency.
Indeed, Africans remind me of the Japanese in that respect. They rarely share negative feelings with you directly. It's your job to read between the lines.
Frank probably thinks that it's "obvious" what I did wrong.
The only thing that was obvious to me is that Frank wasn't the friend that I thought he was.
Promoting Health Access Sumbawa
One of WanderLearn's top patrons, Kathy Kennedy Enger, asked me to draw attention to Health Access Sumbawa. I am happy to promote this remarkable nonprofit. In 2014, Jack Kennedy founded the organization to bring malaria control and healthcare to remote, impoverished communities. It started on the remote island of Sumbawa, Indonesia. Since then, it's expanded thanks to generous donations. Visit their website to learn more and to donate: https://healthaccesssumbawa.org
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