"The Shocking Truth Behind What Men Really Think About Women" according to a Sandra Camillo survey

The Shocking Truth Behind What Men Really Think is an enticing book title. However, this book is a prime example of a tome that would have been better suited as an article.

Each chapter follows this format

1) It introduces a topic (e.g., if men believe in female equality).
2) Three fictitious men (Jim, Buddy, and Noah) share their thoughts. 
3) Yesterday: The book spends pages discussing what men of yesteryear used to believe regarding the topic. If you're interested in learning about the ancient Romans' views on women, you'll appreciate this section.
4) Today: It covers the last 100 years.
5) Survey: It shares the results of an anonymous survey. This is the only interesting part.

The survey results are divided into three parts 

1) What men think 
2) What women think men think
3) Sharing revealing survey comments from men and women

KEY POINT: This was an anonymous survey, so men had no incentive to lie.

Women tend to think men have a much lower opinion of women than men really have

For example, 76% of men said they "believe women are innately equal to men in all characteristics, e.g., intellect, emotions, ambitions, leadership potential."

Only 21% of women thought that men would feel that way. 

By the way, this is a lousy question. Women are not innately equal to men in "all" characteristics. Women are, on average, unequal to men physically.
Answering "no" to this question implies you think men are BETTER than women, but that's not necessarily true. 
Some might have said, "No, we're not innately equal; women are better than men." 

I suspect some men said "no" because the word "all" is hard to defend.

Sometimes men and women agreed somewhat.
For example, when asked "what attributes they thought made a woman sexy," men said:
Appearance 38%
Intellect 17%
Character/Confidence 15%
Don't know 15%
Personality 9%
Sense of humor 4%
Concern for the man 2%

Women were correct that appearance would be the #1 attribute that men looked for, but they underestimated the importance of the other qualities. Here's what women said would be the attributes men found sexy in a woman:
Appearance 64%
Character/Confidence 12%
Intellect 10%
Sense of humor 6%
Don't know 4%
Personality 4%
Concern for the man 0%

Do smart women turn men on?

62% of men said YES
28% said NO
10% said "it depends."

Women, once again, underestimated men:
Only a third of women thought smart women would turn men on.
A third said it would be a turn-off (which is pretty close to what men said).
And a third said it would "depend."

Meanwhile, 73% of men "would feel comfortable with a woman financially supporting them."
A quarter said they would feel uncomfortable in such a situation.

Only 28% of women thought men would be cool having a woman earn the money (vastly underestimating men).
58% said NO, men would not tolerate being financially dependent.
14% said "It depends."

What do men think women find most valuable in a man, money or looks?

6% of men figured a man's financial status was most important to women.
23% thought looks would be paramount.
11% said "both."
11% Don't know
9% "depends"

Women correctly predicted what men thought women valued. 
This doesn't mean that women value as men said they would.

Can a man be "just friends with a sexy, beautiful woman?"

70% of men said YES
14% said NO
13% "Depends"

Women correctly predicted men's responses on this issue.

Are men comfortable with the % of female physicians? 

84% of men said YES.
11% said NO.

Women were utterly wrong about men's opinions.
Only 40% of women thought men would be comfortable with the % of female physicians.
30% said NO.
22% depends
8% don't know.

Did the #MeToo movement impact men's behavior?

26% of men said YES
67% said NO
7% don't know

Nearly half of the women believed that the #MeToo movement had changed men's behavior.
A quarter of women thought it hadn't.

Why the disconnect?

It seems most men thought that the #MeToo movement targeted male outliers.  While men perpetrate 80% of sexual harassment cases, the average guy doesn't sexually harass women. Therefore, most men didn't need to change their behavior to adhere to the #MeToo movement's demands.

About the author

Sandy Camillo is the AAUW NY President. It's challenging to find out what AAUW stands for since their NY website doesn't spell out the acronym and their national site buries it, the American Association of University Women. It fights for women's equal rights.

You might think that Camillo's pro-female bias might make her lose objectivity. Aside from a couple of poorly worded survey questions, the book is fair, and the survey was anonymous. 

Camillo declined my request for an interview. 

Conclusion

Although I found the survey fascinating, there's no need to write an entire book about it.
As I have just demonstrated, most of the salient points can be effectively presented in an article.

On the other hand, if you want a comprehensive history about the subjects covered, then this is an outstanding book.

If you just want to know what men think in 2025, then you'll find yourself doing what I did: skipping to the end of each chapter to see the results.

Most men won't find the truths in these survey results "shocking," but women will. That's the depressing yet positive point. 

It's depressing because it demonstrates how women haven't updated their thinking; women still think we're living in 1970 or earlier. The same problem occurs in the African American community, where some Blacks seem to believe that they're still living under Jim Crow Laws; they haven't updated their worldview to realize that we've made tremendous improvements.

The fact that only 40% of women thought a man would be comfortable with a female physician, whereas the "shocking truth" is that 84% of men are perfectly fine with one. 

I'd bet that less than 40% of African Americans would think that white Americans would be comfortable with a Black physician, even though 84% of whites would be fine with one. Those numbers aren't based on a survey, but rather intended to illustrate the general idea that victimized groups sometimes overestimate the severity of the problem. 

Which brings me to the positive point of this book: men are not nearly as sexist and misogynistic as women perceive them to be. I hope Camillo shares that fact at the AAUW. 

As Virginia Slims said in 1970, "You've come a long way, baby."

And, yes, we still have more work to do, as the surveys in this book demonstrate.

Verdict

Fascinating survey results, but it would have been more effective as an article.

5 out of 10 stars.

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