I'm feeling pretty good about myself. No, it's not that I just completed five months of traveling in 22 
countries without getting killed or deported. OK, well that's nice too.
But the main reason I'm feeling great is that so many Turkish men are really good looking.
No, I haven't become gay.
It's just that throughout my Eastern European voyage people have thought that I am Turkish.
Before I visited Turkey I just shrugged off that incorrect guess and simply revealed my Chilean/French origin. But now I wear that incorrect guess as a badge of honor. After all, Turkish men are hot!
Turkish looks
You crave the dark, handsome man? Come to Turkey.
You prefer blondes? Maybe Scandinavia is a better fit.
For the first time in my trip, the good looking men outnumbered the good looking women. Eastern European is filled with attractive women, especially in the Baltics and Ukraine. But in Turkey good looking guys are abundant and women are, well, absent.
It's not that Turkish women are ugly. It's just that they're not on streets. I'm not sure where they're hiding, but over 80% of the pedestrians are men. 
So I was strutting my stuff and feeling pretty Turkish, when a Turkish rug vendor stopped me and said, "Can I ask you something?"
"Yes."
"Where are from?" he asked.
"Guess," I said.
"France."
My smile vanished.
Crap.
I guess I really don't look Turkish after all.
I'm just another smelly Frenchman.
Sensory assault
Speaking of smells, Istanbul attacks your senses.
I was in Istanbul during Ramadan, which this year lasts from October 15 to November 12. During this period Muslims fast, don't smoke or drink alcohol. At least during the day. During the night there's probably an orgy of cigarettes and food in every home as they try to make up for lost time.
I thought I'd see mellow version of Istanbul, but it still managed to assault my senses:
- People touch and grab you when they're giving you directions, practically pulling you in the correct direction.
- The smell of succulent food wafts into your nose, which must be torture to the 90% who observe Ramadan.
- The din of the street vendors shouting their best offers is omnipresent.
- The Arabic architecture delights the eyes.
- The taste Turkish spices sends your palate into 7th heaven.
I was overwhelmed.
Nicest people ever 
After traveling over 60 countries, I'd put Brazilians and the Irish on the short list of some of the nicest people around. But the Turks trounce them all. They are without a doubt, the warmest people I have ever met.
It was almost scary how nice they are. Many times I had to look around to make sure I wasn't on the Truman Show.
For example, I asked one guy where the Hagia Sofia Mosque was, and he said, "Let me take you there."
He took me on a 10 minute walk around the center, chatting the whole way. He owned a clothing store and liked relaxing near the mosques when he had free time. I was sure he would ask me for money at the end of his little tour. He dropped me off in front of the museum and said, "OK, here you are. I'll wait for you here when you come out."
"Um, that's OK. I'm fine. Thanks!"
"OK then! Bye bye!"
I felt bad. I was kinda cold to him at the end. I thought he wanted my money, but he never even hinted for it. A cynic may say that he really did want my money, but after meeting dozens of helpful Turks, I conclude that he was just a REALLY nice guy.
The Hagia Sofia was impressive. The Blue Mosque, which is right next door, was also spectacular.
But one of my favorites was the Basilica Cistern.
Built in the 6th century, during Istanbul's glory days, this cistern still works.
Overnight train to Ephesus 
I left Istanbul via an overnight bus trip. What a difference between the Turkish buses and the Eastern European ones I had been taking for several months! This bus had comfortable reclining chairs, trays, a mo
vie (appropriately "Troy", with Brad Pitt), headphones, free food and drink, and (the real shocker) friendly bus drivers!
I arrived in the ancient Roman city of Ephesus. It is arguably the largest Roman ruin in the world and yet it's only half excavated. It's hard to imagine that 2,000 years ago the Aegean Sea filled the valley so ships could dock in Ephesus.
The Turkish government is now digging a channel to the sea. Soon visitors will be able to arrive once more by boat.
While Greek legend says that Amazons, the mythical female warriors, founded Ephesus, I think it's more likely that Androklos was responsible. On the other hand, the story on how he chose the site is a bit fishy.
Supposedly he consulted the Oracle at Delphia, who told him that a fish would show Androklos the place for a new colony and a boar would lead them to the future site of Ephesus. While preparing a fish dinner, along the shore of the Aegean, the fish jumped out of the pan. Startled, the cook caused a brush fire, which in turn startled a boar. Androklos followed the boar and eventually killed it. There became the site where Ephesus was built. The fact that there was a good harbor area, fertile land nearby, and a fresh-water stream available might have also helped.
It was exciting to walk in the footsteps of the impressive cast of characters who have walked through its streets. Here's some of them:
- ALEXANDER THE GREAT conquered Ephesus and offered to help complete the Temple of Artemis (one of the Seven Wonders of the World). The builders turned down his funding because Alex wanted his name carved in big fat letters on the Temple in exchange for the cash. To not offend Alex, the Ephesians cleverly said that it was not fitting for one god to dedicate a temple to another.
- JULIUS CAESAR visited Ephesus while he was chasing Pompey the Great.
- After losing the fight for the Egyptian throne to her sister Cleopatra, ARSIONOE fled to Ephesus where she lived like a queen in the Temple of Artemis. Cleopatra eventually convinced Mark Anthony, her lover, to kill her sister there. With family members like this, who needs enemies...
- In 32 BC, QUEEN CLEOPATRA AND MARK ANTHONY got busy in Ephesus. Anthony was assembling his forces against Octavian. The troops disliked her presence and their morale plummeted. During the fight Cleopatra fled faster than a French general, taking her sixty Egyptian ships with her. Anthony followed her in a single ship, leaving the rest of his fleet to be destroyed. With commanders like this, who needs enemies...
- The VIRGIN MARY accompanied the APOSTLE PAUL here towards the end of her life, circa 37-45 AD. In his third visit, Paul almost caused a riot with the pagan idol sellers. After two years of living there, they gave Paul the boot. However, he still managed to establish a center for Christianity there.
- ST. JOHN wrote his Gospel on a hill in Ephesus. A big church was built there and I visited the ruins. (St. John wrote the Book of Revelation on the island of Patmos.)
- FRANCIS TAPON roamed the streets of Ephesus in 2004 where he eavesdropped on various multilingual tours because he was too cheap to pay for one.
Men never change 
When I saw admiring the Celcus Library I learned that men haven't changed much. Next to the library was a brothel. An underground tunnel connected them. So men told their wives that they were "going to library" to "pull an all-nighter."
Technically they weren't lying, but...
Temple of Artemis
The 7th wonder of the world in Ephesus sure looked nice back then.
But today, there's not much to see.
What little there is can be found in the British Museum, which Turkish tour guides are extremely bitter about.
In 1863 the British Museum sent John Turtle Wood, an architect, to search for the temple. Wood met with many obstacles. The region was infested with bandits. Workers were hard to find. His budget was too small. Oh, and he had no clue where the temple was located.
He searched for the temple for six years. Each year the British Museum threatened to cut off his funding unless he found something significant, and each year he convinced them to fund him for just one more season. Mr. Wood probably told his funders that he had to conduct "more research" in the "library."
OK, c'mon it really wasn't easy. During his first season he was thrown from a horse, breaking his collar bone. Two years later he was stabbed within an inch of his heart during an assassination attempt upon the British Consul in Smyrna. And by his fifth year I'm sure he really missed the London weather.
Finally in 1869, at the bottom of a muddy twenty-foot deep test pit, his crew struck the base of the great temple. Wood then excavated the whole foundation removing 132,000 cubic yards of the swamp to leave a hole some 300 feet wide and 500 feet long. The remains of some of the sculptured portions were found and shipped the to British Museum.
Overnight trip back
The bus trip back wasn't as nice as the trip there:
1) There was one screaming child in the seat across from me.
2) When the child finally fell asleep from its screaming fit at midnight, the mother began talking loudly all night with the bus driver's assistant. You'd think she would exhausted from her child's tantrums, but I guess not.
3) What was really odd was that at 2AM they turned on all the lights of the bus and started passing out caffeinated tea and crackers.
Huh?
I was surprised that not only nobody got pissed off for being rudely awakened and that they got so many takers. I really don't understand this. Do all Turkish people set their alarms at 2AM to get out of bed and have some tea and biscuits?
Job offer from Microsoft
About two months ago a friend of mine in Microsoft asked me to help him on a project he was working on. While I was in Turkey we finalized the deal. I was to fly to Microsoft as soon as possible.
Therefore, my plan was to return to the US on Oct 29, shake off jet lag, read 5 months of mail, vote for a bunch of libertarian candidates on Nov 2, jump on a plane to Seattle on Nov 3, and start working for Microsoft on Nov 4.
Although it's not clear how long the consultant gig will last, I figured it was a good opportunity to get rained on for a few months in Seattle.
The five months of travel ends in Istanbul 
After a 12 hour bus ride, I jumped on a 15 hour plane flight to San Francisco (with a stop in New York). It was appropriate that I ended my trip in Istanbul, because it is the gateway to Eastern Europe.
It's always an emotional experience to go through passport control when I return to the United States, and after 5 months in Eastern Europe, this time was no different.
I smiled at the Passport Control Officer and said, "I love traveling, but when I return to the US I always want to kiss the ground."
"I know what you mean," he told me. "I wasn't born here, but I'll never go back to live in Argentina. I love America."
Yes, the United States has many flaws, but when you consider the alternatives, it's hard to beat.
I'll keep exploring, but America will always be my base camp.
