John,Just a thank you, Francis, for the helpful articles about understanding European (and perhaps especially Eastern European) manners and lack thereof. Couldn't get the site to let me log on so thought I'd write here, but feel free to post this if you want.
A few years back I bought a small apartment in Cavtat Croatia to use both for relaxation and as a base for extended travel in Europe, and I'm now retired and going there for 2 or 3 months each year. I cope pretty well with my Croatian neighbors, but it often requires an amount of effort that has little to do with language difficulties. I'm a friendly guy who's interested in other people, but find that there is some real surliness to deal with in Eastern Europe. I'm learning to expect less from the local Croatians than I'd hoped for in terms of human companionship.
There are some very real barriers to warmth, friendship and understanding between us. They know that I have much more money and property than they do (not because I'm an insensitive braggart, but because eventually, in the attempt at normal friendly conversation, people find out about one another's lives and this type of information becomes revealed). This difference in material and financial wealth seems to cause resentment.
As a result, I think some Croatians console themselves by harboring incorrect, negative stereotypes about Americans, for example that we 'only care about money' and run around all day thinking only of how we can get more; that we don't know how to relax and enjoy life. In this way they can turn their envy into disdain by convincing themselves that they're morally superior to money-hungry Americans.
Another barrier is that I'm better educated than the locals, and this causes them to become defensive and afraid to discuss things at any length with me.
Yet another barrier is the legacy of the war of the 90's , and its negative psychological effects on those who've lived through it.
I've pretty much resigned myself to enjoying living in Croatia for what the land itself, and its location relative to other countries, has to offer, treating people respectfully as always, but expecting enjoyment of someone's company as an occasional surprise rather than the norm.
John
Having lived in Croatia for over a year, I totally agree with what you say. It's a pity that the beautiful landscape has so many rotten apples. Now that I'm in Africa, I can really feel the difference. Africans don't have all those issues.