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Is Slapping Your Niece's Ass Acceptable in Latin America?

Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 10:44 pm
by FrancisTapon
Hi Francis

I saw your post you made on this article about machismo in Latin America: http://floratheexplorer.com/sexism-mach ... -to-women/
I'm hoping you can answer something for me. I was dating a Colombian man who is about 50 and has been living here in the US for about 11 years. It was a very tumultuous relationship primarily due to his machoism (rubbernecking other women constantly and refusing to stop in particular amongst other things).

When I met him, his sister and family were staying with him (husband, 15 yr old nephew and niece). His niece is 13 years old. Almost every time she would walk by him in the house he would slap her on the ass. One time he did it really hard and she stumbled forward a bit and yelled at him "Stop it!" I told him "Yes stop doing that... its creepy you're her Uncle" .. but he didnt stop. I started to get really concerned because he would roughhouse with her also and he seemed almost flirty with her at times. He also put a tennis racquet between her legs while playing tennis one day.

One night he said he would make me dinner and we would watch a movie after. I got to his place and he was just ending a phone call. I heard a female voice and asked if it was his sister. He said "No that was my niece. She wants to come over and have me make a shrimp dish for her she really likes." I told him I thought we were going to spend the night together alone and it would have been nice if he had ran it by me first. He said he would never expect the same if I told him family was coming over and asked if I was going to leave. I started fuming inside but said "No.. but please dont slap her on the ass while she's here." He said "What are you talking about?" I said "You know what I'm talking about... and she AND I both told you to stop doing it." He walked away looking really stunned and a few minutes later I went to see him in the other room. He said "What do you think?? Do you think I "play" (sex) with her when she comes over here???" I said "I dont know what you do." He called her back shortly after and told her not to come over. It was the end of our relationship.

So for my question.... is an Uncle constantly slapping his niece on the ass considered culturally acceptable in Latin America? No one in her family ever batted an eye when he did it. Are there laws against it there?

Thanks for your time.

L.
L,

Although I've been to most Latin American countries and my mom is from Chile, I'm not sure how to answer your question.

SHORT ANSWER: If I had to pick either YES or NO, I would say "YES, it's culturally acceptable in Latin America."

LONG ANSWER:
Latinos are the most physical people on the planet. The Japanese are the polar opposite.

Compared to other humans, Latinos are extremely affectionate and touchy-feely.
Moreover, they have to no problems with PDA (Public Displays of Affection).

When I was a boy, growing up in America, I would constantly slap my mom's Latino ass.
I think I stopped once I became a teenager.
Sometimes my French dad would disapprove, but I would keep doing it, since my mom would just laugh and take it as a sign of affection.

The problem with your case is that you and the niece both asked your ex-bf to stop.

This is when we enter a gray area.

Few Latinos would care if a niece's ass gets playfully slapped on a regular basis, but when the niece AND the girlfriend are saying STOP, then probably MOST Latinos (95% of Latinas and 60% of male Latinos) would say it's best to stop.

Latin men are machista (macho), so they have a knee-jerk reaction to defy a woman who tells him what to do when he doesn't want to do that.
Still, even such macho men have their limits, which is why most won't rape a woman.

In conclusion, what your ex did was culturally tolerable, but barely so.

Congrats on dumping his ass. :clap:

Re: Is Slapping Your Niece's Ass Acceptable in Latin America?

Posted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 12:53 am
by Fishfan
In case anyone else is wondering, at least in Brazil, the behavior of slapping/grabbing/touching a woman like described isn't considered normal.

Unfortunately, we get lots of catcalls and unwanted attention and comments from men all the time. But being touched in anyway like that is not accepted. Even a simple touch on the shoulder wouldn't be acceptable if repeated.

Sometimes, talking, people will touch your arm, but that's already not right when from a man to a woman.

My guess is that it is also not accepted in other Latin American countries. At least, I've never seen that in my travels.

Re: Is Slapping Your Niece's Ass Acceptable in Latin America?

Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2020 6:11 pm
by FrancisTapon
Another important point is that norms are changing.
What was acceptable in the 20th century is often not acceptable in the 21st.