Hiking with Partners

If you have a question or comment on backpacking or thru-hiking, please post it here.

Post Reply
User avatar
FrancisTapon
Site Admin
Posts: 278
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2007 7:35 pm
Location: San Francisco
Contact:

Hiking with Partners

Post by FrancisTapon » Thu Feb 08, 2007 9:45 pm

How do you deal with hiking partners? What about when one wants to quit in the middle of a long distance trail, but the other doesn't? What if one gets injured?

Here's a place to post ideas/comments. I'll post mine:

First, remember that the greatest challenge for most aspiring thru-hikers isn't the physical aspect, but the mental one.

When you hike with a partner it's good to come up with a plan on what to do under a variety of conditions. However, doing that is probably as much fun as a prenup. :twisted:

This is especially true if you want to continue going without the partner. Some romantic partners will decode your "abandoning" them as a lack of loyalty.

But it's fair to argue this:

a) If you're over 80% done with the thru-hike, then you can keep going without the injured partner.

b) If you've only done 20% of the trail when one quits, then you will both quit.

c) The remaining 21-79% zone is up to you to decide as a team.

The problem with (b) is that many people make enormous sacrifices for a thru-hike. Many hikers do what we did: sell belongings, move out of our home, and quit our jobs. So it sucks to make so much sacrifice and then have to quit just because your romantic hiking partner is getting annoyed with the mosquitoes.

Therefore, if you're going to make major changes in your life to thru-hike, then your partner must understand and appreciate that. Then she'll be more likely to understand your desire to go on even after she bails. But don't be surprised if the sympathy still isn't there.

Furthermore, it's hard to predict how you will feel. I read a journal of someone who kept going after his partner dropped out. Just a week later, that hiker also quit. The same might happen to you. Or if you get hurt, perhaps your partner won't quit and will get summit fever and to push to the end.

Two more pieces of advice:

1) Learn From Trail Lore. Both you and your partner should read books on AT (like mine!) as well as others. Read online journals. The more you understand what you're getting into, the better. However, realize that no matter how much you read, there's nothing like the real thing. Which brings me to....

2) Simulate thru-hiking over long weekends. Although many couples hike together, few backpack at a thru-hiker pace. When the weekend forecast was a rainstorm, Lisa and I headed for the trails to do 20 miles a day on Sat and 20 miles on Sun. We got wet and it was challenging, but we learned what it's like to backpack in such conditions. That training helped us deal with four days of nonstop rain in Maine and Georgia. If you can't deal with challenging conditions, the hike will be miserable.

If anyone has any thoughts on this topic, feel free to register and post! :D

- Francis

Christine
Trusted Member
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:12 pm

Re: Hiking with Partners

Post by Christine » Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:51 pm

I'm planning on thru-hiking the AT next year with my boyfriend. I'm always curious to read what people have said about hiking with a significant other, and I'm always amused to read that people usually assume it is men who drag along their girlfriend/wife.

I've been dreaming/planning on hiking the AT for over 10 years now, and although you may say I've put it off quite a bit, the dream started when I was 13. When I was in school I figured I would do it after college, but then once I graduated (in '07), I realized I had no money (oops). I therefore planned on working for a couple years, and then hitting the trail. So when I met my boyfriend (John) last year, I made it clear within the first couple weeks of dating that I was headed for the AT in either '09 or '10. We settled on '10 so that we could adequately prepare, save up enough money not only for the trail, but for whatever life would offer after the AT, and to get to know each other. Now we're well on our way in preparations for a '10 thru-hike.

Here are some of the issues that have come up so far:


First of all, John is 6ft 4in, and I am 5ft 5in. There are several consequences to this:
1. He eats about twice as much as I do (and twice as fast as well!)
2. He takes 3 steps for every 4 steps I take
3. He can carry more weight

We've started talking about the logistics of this, and we've come up with ideas.

1. As I can already see that fighting over food could become an issue (based on a couple long weekend backpacking trips we've taken), we have decided we will not eat out of the same container even though we will cook together (i.e. cook in one container, then split the meal). This way I won't feel like I have to race him to a stomach ache, and he can be guaranteed an agreed upon portion (twice as much as me if need be).
2. We will both respect each others need for rest, and generally speaking I will probably be the one setting the pace. He can hike ahead when he wishes to hike fast, or behind me to let me keep the pace (as we've done on weekend hikes). We just have to always be open and honest about when we feel too tired to carry on to the next shelter, and when we feel like we can push on.
3. The fact that he will be carrying more weight than I will help with #2, and we will obviously share and split weight based on who is feeling most energetic, or who feels the need for a lighter pack for the day.
The most important thing in any relationship on or off the trail is to always be open and honest and communicate well.


The next thing to think about is privacy and intimacy on the trail. We've decided to hike with a lightweight tent so as to have privacy from shelters along the way when we need it. Also we've budgeted perhaps more than the average thru-hiker for hotel stays along the way since it is always nice to take a shower, be clean for each other, and share a real bed once and a while. From what we've read, sex-drive can drop on the trail, and we expect that most nights we will be too tired for much other than the comfort of sleeping beside each other.


Next, it is important to have a plan B and even C if things go badly on the trail. At first I was so crazy-motivated to complete the AT that I felt like I wouldn't want to make any compromises. Screw the boyfriend if he's injured, screw the relationship if we fight. But as I grew to appreciate my relationship with John more, I realized that this was nonsensical. I found someone who within weeks of knowing me had agreed to drop everything and go hiking with me in a year or two's time, and someone that now a year later I feel is the best person I could be in a relationship with. One thing is clear: AT is always there, and your relationship isn't necessarily. If one of us gets injured, we will assess the situation and if need be, opt for plan B (plan B = travel, which hasn't been determined quite yet). We will then do the AT the next year. The trail will always be there, and one day I will certainly complete it.

I'm sure I could keep writing for ages, but I think this is a good summary of what I've thought about this topic so far.

Cheers,
Christine

User avatar
FrancisTapon
Site Admin
Posts: 278
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2007 7:35 pm
Location: San Francisco
Contact:

Re: Hiking with Partners

Post by FrancisTapon » Fri Aug 21, 2009 7:57 am

Christine,

Congrats on giving this a lot of thought! Writing down your thoughts help, even if you're the only one who reads it (trust me, I know). ;)

Your analysis and plan are extremely reasonable and I have complete confidence that you guys will do the whole trail. My best advice is to go on RIGOROUS weekend hikes or 3- or 4-day weekend hikes, where you do 15+ miles per day.

Although I was just a couple of inches more than Lisa, I ate 50% more than she did. I carried twice as much weight as my partner because a heavy backpack affected her spirits more than it affected mine. I was the follower 85% of the time, partly due to a heavier pack, partly due to the fact that she enjoyed being in front.

Keep sharing your thoughts! You're an excellent writer!

Happy trails,
- Francis Tapon
http://FrancisTapon.com

Christine
Trusted Member
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:12 pm

Re: Hiking with Partners

Post by Christine » Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:43 am

Hi Again,

I just thought I would post again, now having completed the Appalachian Trail! It was a great experience, and I'm disappointed to be back in the "real world" looking for a job again :(

I wanted to over the thoughts I had before I left, and compare them to what actually happened during our hike, and what I think now. It was good to think about the physical differences in John and I, and it worked well for him to carry almost 10lbs more than me. I was carrying around 20lbs, and he would carry around 30lbs. This matched our weight difference. (John: 180lbs, 6ft4, Christine 130lbs, 5ft5)

The trail was much harder for me than it was for him, and sometimes this brought me down. His mile long legs could carry him across rocks very quickly whereas I stumbled along very slowly at some times. Especially in NH and ME, I found it helped for John to almost always be behind me so that I didn't constantly see how easily he jumped from rock to rock and therefore get discouraged. I also then did not feel pressured into walking faster than I could.

Our differences were good though, while John was more physically able than me, I had more motivation. It is very helpful when the person who his more dedicated and determined to complete the trail is also the weakest link.

Food wasn't as big of an issue as I had thought it would be. It was smart to eat out of separate bowls for the most part, but in the end we mostly carried enough food. John didn't wind up losing any weight during the hike (unusual for most men), but he was slim to begin with and made it his job to gorge himself in towns. I was less good at binge-eating, and although I kept on most of my weight while I was healthy, I did become sick a number of times, and lost a total of 20lbs because of it. This was the hardest part for me on the trail. I recommend others to plan enough time and money so that if sick, you can take as much time out as you need. Hiking while sick was the most difficult thing I've done.

That's it for now,
Christine

User avatar
FrancisTapon
Site Admin
Posts: 278
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2007 7:35 pm
Location: San Francisco
Contact:

Re: Hiking with Partners

Post by FrancisTapon » Sat Nov 06, 2010 11:59 pm

Thanks Christine for the post-trip update! It's always great to hear before and after stories! :)

My main suggestion is that John didn't carry enough. I'm only 5'9" and Lisa was your height and build, but I carried 20-30 lbs and she carried less than 10.

If John was jumping over boulders and you were struggling over them, that's a sure sign that your pack weights weren't evenly distributed. It's a common problem that male-female partners have, especially if there's a big size difference between the two.

Therefore, you should have given him at least 5 pounds more from your pack and your pace would be closer.

Otherwise, be proud that you made the distance and kept the same partner the whole way! That's two great accomplishments!

BRAVO! :clap:
- Francis Tapon
http://FrancisTapon.com

Christine
Trusted Member
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:12 pm

Re: Hiking with Partners

Post by Christine » Thu Nov 18, 2010 5:52 pm

Hey Francis-

Feel free to post this somewhere else since it probably doesn't fit here.

Before we started the AT, and now that we've finished it, we are definitely interested in doing more long distance trails. We're interested in doing the PCT and the pilgrim's trail in Spain (not sure if the CDT is for me), but at this point I think it would be worth our while to get sponsored. How do you go about doing this?

I'm a Chemical Engineer looking for work in my field, but am not sure how long I'll be able to stand the "real world". Time to save big and do what we want, right? Getting sponsored to hike is a first step.

Next step is trying to figure out what we can do to maintain enough income to support us (we can be cheap, but we can't live on nothing, we need to save for when we're old, and there is always health care to worry about in this country). I've had many ideas, but all have their faults.

P.S. Just got our certificates of completion from the ATC in the mail today, and got excited :)

User avatar
FrancisTapon
Site Admin
Posts: 278
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2007 7:35 pm
Location: San Francisco
Contact:

Re: Hiking with Partners

Post by FrancisTapon » Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:56 pm

Christine,

I'm always asked, how do you get sponsors, so I've answered it there. Just be aware that it's not as glamorous or as helpful as it sounds. ;)

Also, you might want to read about how you can afford to travel the world.

I hope that helps!

Good luck! :)
- Francis Tapon
http://FrancisTapon.com

User avatar
FrancisTapon
Site Admin
Posts: 278
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2007 7:35 pm
Location: San Francisco
Contact:

Re: Hiking with Partners

Post by FrancisTapon » Sun Jan 09, 2011 1:58 pm

Someone asked me how do you find a good hiking partner?

For finding partners, I think the best strategy is just to go out there and you'll meet them. This is especially easy on the AT and PCT (if you go northbound). It's relatively easy to do on CDT too, especially if you go southbound.

If not, there are plenty of websites where prospective hikers announce themselves and network before the hike.

However, I prefer the spontaneous method, because after spending hours on websites trying to find the perfect partner, you may discover s/he is not so perfect for you. What most solo hikers do is that they have partners for a few hundred miles, go solo for a few weeks, then find another partner, and so on. That seems to work for most people.

Still, one advantage of looking for one before the hike is that you'll meet some of the characters that you'll meet on the trail before you meet them, so that when you finally meet in person it's extra special! :) But if you're in a hurry, then just go out there and wing it. ;)
- Francis Tapon
http://FrancisTapon.com

Post Reply